oh what a day was yesterday.

Yes I had to work:( I hate working when Teague is not there. But it was just a normal day untill the end of my shift when it started to rain. It was a realy bad storm. Like the rain had drawn us all outside. I finished up with my last table and just went out and stood in the rain untill I got yelled at. Oh how it was so much fun.

Made me so happy. Now I am enjoying a nice sunny day off. hopefuly sunday will be nice so we can go for a walk.

I even did something that I have not done in quite a few months. I wrote a short poem. I had, had one of Teague's song stuck in my head and made up a poem to go with it. Maybe someday I will post it for all to see. It was funny I was afraid to show him bc last time I showed him something I wrote he laughed at it. But he helped me fix a part that did not flow realy good and said it sounded real good. That made me real happy.

So what is there to say? This is my life. A life full of pain and disappointment. I droped out of college. want badly to go back but can't afford it, barly able to make enough money to pay for a house that is just one big cat house. I only go to my house maybe once a week. My sisters are mad bc they say that I have disappered well maybe I need some time to myself.

and on top of all that I just want to get out of this god forsaken state. I hate it here. It is so cold and not where I want to be. Can I just be a drifter for a while? with no attachments. guess that can never happen.

So here I am living my life. Trying to please everyone. When all the time I just want to be me.

Oh how I would love to go back to Bryan. I miss it so bad. There is just some sort of peace you can find there. It's been almost a year since my last visit. And with my current job and lack of funds it will probaly be another year before i get to go back. wouldn't it be fun to go in the summer and just sleep out under the stars at buzzards or pocket?

Oh how I would love to be able to get reintouch with the beauty of nature. When I had left I felt like I was at peace and that I was ready to face the world again but that feeling has long since left and the daily thoughts of it is making me homesick.

That is the beauty of nature you may be no longer welcomed somewhere but no matter where you are nature will except you. I have tried finding some sort of peace here where I live but have not been able to find it. So someday I will make the 12 hour trip and go. So many times driving home from work I long to get on the highway and start heading south and not stop but god knows my car will never make it down there.

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ok so that was my depressed writting. On a happy note I have a great boyfriend who I love. The cool thing is he is a musician and writes his own songs and comes up with the lyrics too, and does all the recording. Well I showed him one of my poems and now he is doing a first for him and turning one of my poems into a song. :) he's still expermenting and trying to figure it all out but i like what I hear so far.  Can't wait to hear the full thing but that could be a while.

So here I am taking a break from playing computer games because I am mad that I can't find the person I am looking for in my computer game.

If only my brain would would turn off so that I could sleep. But then again I guess sleep is over rated. We have all the time in the world to sleep when we are dead.

ok so I am trying to learn this thing. But I guess I should say look at the photos to see me and Shayne.

So what do I say? It's just me. Stacy. Been working at the restruant for 8 months now. It's a job. I meet my current boyfriend there. His name is Teague. Once I get a picture of us I'll put it on.